Because I’m a nerd, and an introvert, I often bring my laptop to my kids’ games. That means I prop up and work while on the sidelines for football, baseball, hockey, and gosh, now my daughter is trying the silk hammock so add that to the list.
Nothing says “come chat!” like a woman in a fold up chair with a coffee and a laptop at 8AM on a Saturday morning.
I’m good with myself and my ways, as 50-something women tend to be. We’ve coursing with all the perimenopausal “I careth not” chemicals, so you can take it or leave it.
But yes, even though I put up the non verbal barriers, people are kind, and want to catch up after summer, so some poke through. And on this morning, a sweet mom-friend approached with some morning brilliance. I think it came for concern that I was, ya know, working.
“You know what they say,” she said. “You can only have two burners on high at once!.”
Is that what they say?
The gas coming through my stovetop seems to max out pretty solidly and I can fire on all four burners at once. However, the stove was designed to have two simmer and two max heat. Some of the rings are smaller than others.
Interesting. Game on.
“Say more,” I encouraged.
“They say you have four priorities: family, friends, work and health. You can pick any two to prioritize, but you can’t prioritize all four at the same time.”
“I like that framework, ” I told her, and she returned to the extroverts. And then, like a good coachee, put the framework to use. Family has been a top priority since covid (damn) and I was ready to let that one move to the back. Everyone is fine. Cancer free, kids ensconced in middle school. There’s no big action to take, if you consider my sons’ bar mitzvah year inaction – meaning, I got the plans, the routines, simmer away.
Health. Also on auto pilot. For physical: I bike, walk, gym, yoga, and yes, PT. My mental health checks in solidly. My clothes fit right, I’m doing the strength, flexibility and cardio work we’re supposed to do as we age. I cook and eat living food. I’ve got my systems. Move it to the back.
Friends! My summer was filled with overdue reconnections with old friends. Yes, more of that. Still haven’t made good local friends (sideline laptopping may have something to do with it), but I can make an effort. I will try to pinpoint some folks I can elevate from acquaintances to friends. There’s also high school reunion is in November, so…
And work – gosh, I love my work. You know that. And I’ve been doing the same thing for a long time, so perhaps it’s time to shift a little, to offer more. Push myself to do something new. My Montclair-incarnation of business is 10 years old next month, and I’ve been coaching for twenty years total. Maybe I’ll do something to celebrate. Zhujj up the web site? Write another book?
So there we go, my two high heat activities for the fall (work, friends) and my two simmer / back burner options (health, family).
Let’s see where I’ll be at the end of the year with those two focal modifications.
And you, dear reader – what will you fire up, and what will you push to simmer? And why. It’s a simple and effective framework. Use it with ease, grace and humor, and share with friends.
