Of course you do. This is one of the main reasons folks come to see me for coaching sessions. My clients seek clarity when they’re fuzzy, motivation when they’re stuck, and accountability to make sure it gets done.
These are the three frameworks that help clients find motivation and shift to action:
- Create a positive feedback loop with small, consistent wins. Some clients have big hairy audacious goals, while others are feeling a malaise, a languishing, a lack of motivation for life. In both of these situations, I’ve seen small goals work wornders. A client wants to launch a company but just can’t — let’s start by cleaning the office, maybe getting a new keyboard instead of that one with the sticky key. Small weekly changes add up fast, and the motivation momentum picks up quickly. You can set a small win for each day of the week, and watch that momentum build. Simple, obvious, effective.
- Tend to logic AND emotion. In coaching sessions the client is responsible for setting the agenda. Clients will come with something that they’re “stuck” on, something that just keeps rolling around in their head that they want to conclude. A frustration with a spouse or unkind behavior from a boss. In these situations I like to move between logic and emotion. Logically, the boss was incorrect and dismissive. We can see that, but when the client “just can’t let go”, we also need to address the emotion of how they FELT. The client needs to address both logic and emotion to accept the situation. Until we’ve taken care of each and both, the client remains stuck.
For this one, especially if you’ve been spinning your wheels for a while, it’s best to get the help of a professional. Try a great coach, therapist, or even a semi-professional listener. The goal: get out of the looping, move toward acceptance, and get on with it! In situations where you’ve been wronged, and the situation isn’t going to change, speaking your mind and standing up for yourself can work wonders. Especially if you pledge to move onto a different system or situation when you realize this one isn’t going to change.
- Defer to the expert. Recently, I had a client and we’d been playing in the logic and emotion loop for a session or two, we talked it out and out and out finally she said, “I’m locked up here. I know the right choice logically, I just don’t feel it emotionally. But after a long history of anxiety, I think I’m just not able to get there. I pay you a lot of money so I’m going to follow your advice.” I didn’t see that coming, and I don’t consider and advisor. But she asked for an opinion and I gave it (based on experience and sociological studies). She took the advice and took action, even though it was very very hard.What partnership! You see this a lot in addiction/rehab circles, where folks will defer to the support / wisdom / experience of a sponsor. Folks will also defer to a nutritionist’s advice, or a personal trainer. We put our trust in those who have experience, and do what they tell us to do. It breaks the clog.
I have seen each of these frameworks help clients break through the stuck so that they could take action, then repeated action which cultivated the motivation and became a self-fulfilling prophecy toward personal growth.
What’s your stuck area? Which of these approaches will you try? As always, I’m keen to set up a session if that might be helpful to you.
Love, thought and forward motion,